January 3, 2017
I often feel as if I can't relate to people, things and feelings. And while living in a world where being relatable and likable are sometimes keys to success, it makes me feel somewhat lost and alone. I've always been a loner, it's just who I am. But sometimes I can't help but wonder - am I alone in my loneliness? What I mean by that is I know there are other people like me who share the same traits and views and interests, but somehow I've been unable to meet them.
I used to be someone with many friends and acquaintances, but as I've grown older and I'd like to think also wiser, I've been parting my ways with people left and right. People go through things and they change and at one point it's nothing but memories that keep you together. And since I'm not one to live in the past, I've let those relationships go.
And I'm here wondering what makes something relatable? And why am I unable to relate to other people? I've always surrounded myself with people that are older than me. Somehow I have more things in common with someone who's 30 rather than 20. It's always been like that. And as I'm getting older, I'm still not able to relate to people my age. But maybe it's all just because I was born in the wrong country? I can't relate to my nationality, culture and the society I live in. That's why I've always been so drawn to the outside world. People live their whole lives in the place they were born and they don't even know that there is this whole world right there waiting to be discovered.
So far I've lived in three countries and yes, I'm back where I started, but don't expect me to stick around. I'm still looking for that place where I fit in. I'm still looking for that city that just feels like home, the place you're so certain you're meant to be there right in that moment in time. I still haven't found it, but I'm sure it exists. It has to. So I'll keep looking for someplace, something and someone I can relate to. It has to happen sooner or later. And when it will feel right I will know. I'm sure of it because I can imagine it. And if I can imagine it, it's possible.
*The title image is a scene from a movie called The Dreamers. If you haven't seen it, put it on the top of your watchlist.